(Norah Jones - Shoot the moon)

So here I sit 6 feet small, in my room, behind my screen listening to music, sweet sweet music. I took one step ahead today, only to notice I fell back ten. I'm back 2 years, and about a month or 2-5. The only difference is that this time, looking back/forward at the footsteps, I see I frolicked quite some distance. And looking at the state of my shoes and luggage, I won't be able to do that any time soon. Maybe even never. I don't know. But shoes can be replaced, and luggage can be left, forgotten or eaten.

Basically what remains is choosing whether or not I want to do something about it, and if I dare to do it again. Or perhaps not step back into my old footsteps. It might not even lead to frolicking at all. Feeling truthfuly and great, gives you the best feelings and time of your life. And thoughts, well, they get you only so far. But much safer then following your senses. Then again, no love ever came from deductive reasoning, then again, neither (hardly ever) did war.

The answer is of course simple, fuck deductive reasoning, it isn't what motivates anyone and is just judged by the quality you can lie to yourself. But I am just like that 5 year old kid on his bicycle in front of a steep hill with not too good brakes, having falling just a few times too often. Just enough to wonder if I should go down the hill again. Asking just one simple question, is love really worth the certainty of a broken heart?

And if you say this think that the same holds for; Is war really worth the spoils? If no gain justifies killing, then how can a loss ever justify love? I think I am just going to go to Switzerland, be neutral for a while.