Irony is hard

(Phil Collins - You'll be in my heart)

To those few who know me, this piece won't tell you much else. To those of you who have known me somewhat this year, this will answer a lot of question. To those who just know what few gossips, you probably won't believe this at all, too bad for you.

Today, as I am no longer a part of a board, I am going away from this country to live the dream I've dreamt for 10 years and I really haven't got a care in the world at the moment. I am, for now, just going to cut the charades.

And lets talk about that thing that always makes gossip about me. Let us talk about women, politics and other stuff in my life.

Many of the readers might think I am a womaniser. And that I have a different love everyday. That is just nonsense. Also I do what I like and nobody ever expelled me or ignored me away from something.

In the past 6 years, and in the 5 years prior to my partaking of the active Nijmegen Student life by being part of the NSSR, I had 4 and a half year of relations. Steady relations, 2 to be exact. Of which the last I even shared a house with, and went into relationship therapy with when we couldn't make social ends meet.
 

Believe me when I say, I'm a relationship kind a guy. And that is the very reason why I denied myself falling in love for over 18 Months. I know myself, If I really fall in love with someone, I would deny myself the dream. 

But believe me when I say that I did fall in love a few times this year. I fell in love (limerence) twice this year. The first I lost because I didn't want to destroy the love that was given to me from someone I hold very dear. And the last because well, it just wasn't all that mutual.

This doesn't mean I don't hold the people I have been with very dearly. In fact, the good thing about not having limerence, is that you can love someone for who they are, even if that means that you will not receive any love in return. And though at times this is really difficult, the kick I got from really getting know people was great. And I could let them share in my happiness. At least, I have tried but I will always have the love I have for them inside me, and they can't take that away. I hope.

And sometimes I gave up too easily, I must acknowledge that I avoided the cases where I really couldn't do much at all, and the person needed to do it alone. I regret a few things I did, but I received in return a whole world of people I hold dear. There lies no regret in any of the people I know.

And lets keep it simple, the people I want to be with, are people not everybody needs to know. They know, that is enough.

Since this is what most people wanted to know, they are probably not much interested what will follow. Did you guys know I am happy? God I am so ridiculously happy sometimes. Why? Because I know who I am and spend  the far greater part of my teenage life trying to figure that out. Then I only need to do what I want, and can. And happiness follows. 

Also I love science, but it is mostly the worldview that physics gave me I loved.

Yes I missed a lot of my exercise trainings, but that is somewhat because I thought to have disappointed you, and also because I was mostly just tired of the rather intense life I lived for a long time. I've lived life so full, I lived 4 lives at the same time. And that is tiresome. I will now cut down to just 2. And later, who knows. This doesn't mean I don't like it. It means that I have more pressing things to do. I will see you guys soon!

Yes I didn't do all I could do with my studies, frankly this is because my end goal was working at the Niels Bohr institute, and well, that is reached. So there you have it. 

Also I am going to love that you people will take several years to uncover just the things I did this year in changing the world around me.

But from what I see from you, If you could just live the way I live for a little bit more then you are now, I don't think you'll see these above 'problems' as problems at all. I invite you to try.

Also if reading this has made you wonder just how and why in my life, maybe you know buy me a drink. Cos this is just a very small part of who I am. And who knows, maybe it'll be fun. I promise you it will be provoking. Cos provoking makes people think about themselves and what they want. That is ALWAYS good.

Cheers everyone.