I can not yet quite wrap my head around it. But the past few days I have just been really sad. Or no, I was not sad, but I had this feeling of sadness, emptiness or just loneliness. I can't quite describe it. And even though sure I had much emotional things to deal with in a short time. I'm getting to this point where my mind just says; 'No more'
'No more, for god sake, I have had enough haven't you?' I feel sorry for my mind, as if both my reason and my intuition have found such a perfect balance that a third little player is beginning to uncover its head. When my vast ocean of logic which had governed my life for so long. And the great jungles of my emotions that have given me so much life to begin with and that influenced my so well. There, it seems I finally get tangled between small mangrove forests. A thin stretch of jungle the one moment controlled by the sea, the other moment by the jungle.
'No more, for god sake, I have had enough haven't you?' I feel sorry for my mind, as if both my reason and my intuition have found such a perfect balance that a third little player is beginning to uncover its head. When my vast ocean of logic which had governed my life for so long. And the great jungles of my emotions that have given me so much life to begin with and that influenced my so well. There, it seems I finally get tangled between small mangrove forests. A thin stretch of jungle the one moment controlled by the sea, the other moment by the jungle.
It is the memory of who I was, with who I was and all the things that happened in between. And that even though I cannot hate nor dislike the final destination. I begin to miss the Journey, miss my companions on this journey, miss the towns and houses that I visited. Miss the views, miss the smells, miss the unforgettable moments of great joy, love and happiness. And remember the moments when even sorrow was present.
I've lived, I've lived to the fullest and I have lived so much in so little time. It sometimes feels that not my body, but my mind has aged quicker then I can keep up with. Quicker then I'd liked it to have. This place, this town is so full of memories, so full of thoughts and people and life.
I've lived, I've lived to the fullest and I have lived so much in so little time. It sometimes feels that not my body, but my mind has aged quicker then I can keep up with. Quicker then I'd liked it to have. This place, this town is so full of memories, so full of thoughts and people and life.
Can one life too strong, or too much?
My mind is racing with all sorts of things at the same time. Yet the result is tranquil. My body feels so much at the same time, yet my motions are slow and certain. My hunger fades away, my fatigue seems to be shadowed by my will. And my nightmares have been so long gone I am beginning to miss them. What should I do now?
Anyone?
Anyone?
I sympathize with the feeling, although I can't pretend to know your torment. It is your own. But I'd like to put forth what I do when I feel overwhelmed. I'm quite different than you, and a woman, but if it could help I don't see why I shouldn't share it.
BeantwoordenVerwijderenBefore I go to sleep, I tell myself that for a few days I will not think of the past, or speculate about the future or stress myself with the present. I will live in the present without engaging in deep thought or analysis. I will do simple things for my happiness and I will forget the world, it's worries and what I would want from people or otherwise. When I wake up the next morning, I act on my decision. Some might say it's a lazy way of living, but I don't exercise it everyday. Goodness knows, we all need a vacation sometimes.
Does it solve the problem? Not quite. But a mind so overwhelmed can't solve anything anyway. It needs to relax first, right? And even though you feel a journey has ended, the story hasn't. When you're feeling better, you can always find new adventures while remembering the old ones with fondness.
Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.*hugs*