Lippy kids don't give

(Elbow - Lippy kids)

 

--"Blame someone else and get on with your life."-- Alan Woods

This is the easiest way to solve things. But it doesn't take away the reason why we get stuck with things in life anyway. We blame ourselves, just that little bit too long. And I don't think I can speak for you guys in this story.

I blame myself just that little bit too much. I give myself too much credit for thinking I can control all the aspects of my life. I keep on thinking I could just affect everything in my range. I think I could just let everyone else see the world the way I do. But, I can't.

I have no influence in the lives of people who do not choose to let me influence it. And it has come to my mind that is limited for most people. I don't know if it is that limited for me though. Probably not. If I don't make other peoples problems my problems, then why do I make my own problems seem so large?

I don't think my problems are that big actually. They don't seem to be big, I just sometimes wished that problems would go away if you just solved enough of them. And in a way, they did, I just got a little infatuated in solving them.

Actually, that isn't true. I don't get infatuated by problems, problems are simple. One takes a problem, chops it up in little pieces and systematically solves them. All the problems in the world. Come to think of it, it isn't problems that mess with my mind. It is people...

It isn't the problems they have that worry me, it isn't their actions that make me distressed. It even isn't the way they treat me that makes me wonder so long. It is how other people view their own problems and life that makes my head get filled with thoughts.

Again...

I had this problem before. And the happier I become the harder it becomes to overcome. As I have so much happiness to give, so much joy to show in this world. I find it so, so difficult to not be able of giving that to others. Even though deep down, I know it isn't any of my business of how they view their worlds. 

Thank you obsession, thank you arrogance, thank you kindly limerence, thank you hope, thank you ignorance, thank you for all that you have given me.
From this day on, I have nothing left to give. I have only things left to share.