Aggressive Diminution

(The Dark knight Soundtrack - Aggressive expansion)

As I sit here, and gather in all the news, all the conflict, all the killing, and the selfishness all the mindless enduring stupidity in this world. I regain that old 'angry at the world' feeling. The dishonesty, the ease which people drop others, the superficial lies and subtle concealments of what we really want in life. Do I just have a terrible cut out of the whole deal, or is there really that little good in this world?

I once said that I will avenge this, by just being better myself. But the more I try, the more I notice it is eating away the inside of me. Maybe because it seems fruitless to continue, why, why would I even bother? Nothing that I do will permanently keep anything at bay. There is no rewards to gain, or maybe there is, but is the reward I am willing to take as good, simply not in existence any more. And is the feeling more due to the slow and lonely realisation that this world might just be beyond saving.

And you might say; 'Who are you to think the world needs saving, your saving?' and maybe they are right. Maybe this is all just part of the social evolution of this whole society. Maybe all the saving the world needs is none at all, and only I need to experience a speed-up of this social evolution. Should I just embrace this diminution of social standards, or continue to fight for better ones, and eventually see myself become bitter due to it?

I am truly at an existential crisis here. Having lost my values almost a year ago, there is nothing to replace them, and all the while I am looking at finding new ones, I see shit. I see good things too, but once you look closer they are mostly motivated by the same selfish reasons. Mostly, since if it were all, I would not be in a crisis. How would the world be if the whole world would be selfless for one day? And I don't mean aiding people in far away lands. I mean being selfless to everyone that is close to you that day. What would the world be like? Would it be better afterwards, or just cause more chaos?

What do you think?